Toronto, ON. June 21, 2020- Tanya Hayles joined a conversation with CTV News about what kind of discussions parents should be having with their children during these times. Also joining the conversation was Ed Gough Jr. host of the Dr. Vibe Show.
Both Hayles and Gough were asked questions about what it means to be a black parent during this social movement and what types of conversations are being had amongst parents and children. Gough discussed a very common conversation amongst the black community known as “the talk”. In previous interviews, Hayles has discussed the significance of the talk amongst the black community.
“The choice of having a conversation about race or not having a conversation is not a luxury that black parents have. There’s always a time as a parent in our children’s lives where we’re going to have to have this talk” says Hayles. “We have moms who have 5 year-olds who have been called the “n” word on the playground by other children, so we don’t have a choice in explaining what that word means and why it’s hurtful and hateful.”
It is unfortunate that black parents have to constantly carry the burden of having to explain to their children why there is so much injustice in the world around them. Some parents probably feel the need to wait until something happens to explain, or to wait until their child is a little older. During the interview, Hayles was asked about what it meant to her to be a black parent and how having the conversation about race has affected her son.
“With what is going on right now I’ve opted to actually shield him from it. You know he still believes in the tooth fairy and I want to maintain that for as long as possible,” says Hayles. “With that being said we have had conversations in the past, in fact, I had gotten a call from his school one day that he and a classmate were horsing around and at first the teacher made it seem like he insulted this student. I dug further, and this is something black parents have to do-we have to advocate and be detectives and dig deeper more than anyone else to make sure that it’s not a bias against our children. I said to my son that day when we walked home that you do not get the same luxury that your classmates get, you have to be extra careful.”
Even if we try to shield our children from what is going on to protect their innocence, the need to have some dialogue around the subject still exists because of everyday events- so the challenge remains on exactly ow we articulate the issues to them.
To watch the interview and learn more, click here.
About Tanya Hayles
Tanya Hayles is the founder of the Black Moms Connection. An organization catered to the betterment of black mothers. Founded in 2015, members are able to connect with others who share the same experiences and become involved in an encouraging environment. The group has now grown to over 14,00 members and continues to provide scholarships, emergency funds, workshops and live events. Tanya has also worked in the event planning industry since 2006 and has since mastered her skills and started her own firm. She can be seen working throughout the city on many different initiatives.